Gaia Community: joey's Blog

a lot of work to do

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:33:10 -0000

I have been busy with work, kid going to school and trying to find a place to stay. Well if all goes well. I will be moving my family back to our old neighborhood and it's a relief.
I have been so busy, now i have to pack up 2 apartments and I am not looking forward to that. I have been upset because I haven't been able to just sit down and write which I miss very much. I was so upset when my daughter came home from school and brought home her fund raiser stuff. Can't they see the economy is not doing so well? Like always we always seem to make things work. I am glad I have enough time just to sit and write what I'm writing now. My job is keeping me busy and I love it. Well got to go cook dinner. peace , love and happiness til next time.

addictions

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:13:37 -0000

poem

I can only go by what I've seen. Your choice! you see what I mean? You still ain't clean. Muttering echos yelling back from our past. Things need to change before the slow asphyxiating life style you attend turns it's back on you again. We can rehash our past and release the demons from within. You will only find another excuse to fill your heart with sin. Your alcoholism I don't consider a flaw, no not at all. It's a slow agonizing death, it's an addiction that has plagued our families for years. I can't shed any more tears of the fears of you laying in a casket full of your lies and your own demise.

by joey

My voice

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:02:42 -0000

I wrote this poem because people say it's hard to talk to me sometimes because I am so aggressive and I get to upset or too excited.

poem

People don't like the way I speak. Is it because I'm so passionate in what I believe? I have my father's pride in the strides I take. Exacerbating in every conversation I make. Like alicia keys song superwomen and I'm that times 2. I'm not impressed with your phony display, of your antagonizing ways. Call me what you want, you can never keep this bitch down. You don't agree in the nature of which I speak. Too aggressive for your ears to hear. You don't know how many years I've had to hush my silence. You don't know the violence I've obtained in my brain. I've cured myself of speaking out, I free myself with the words that I speak. Until you've walked in my shoes..... you can not silence my voice!

by joey

Don't talk

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:58:08 -0000

Poem

Don't talk just listen. Listen to the wind through the trees. Listen to the whispering in the wind. Listen to the silence of a newborn baby's soul. Don't talk just listen. Listen to the water rippling over the waves. close your eyes and listen to the flow of the ocean. Listen to the birds communicate from tree to tree. Don't talk just listen. Listen to the souls that cry out for help. The angels above please help the children live through this mess we've made. Bring them under your wings and covet them for safe keeping. Silent their cry's. Make their lives as peaceful as the sounds I hear. Bring back the birds in the tree and the flowers and the bees. God shower me with your tears and cleanse my soul, so I'll have no fear as long as I know that you are near.

by joey

weakness

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:46:19 -0000

Poem

Droplets of water fall from my face, memories of you with time and grace. God I know you say I have a purpose in my life. The misery I see it's hard to set free. I cry to let out the fear of letting go of someone too near to my soul. God if I could see the outcome of my survival, like the arrival of a newborn butterfly that is what I wanna be, for the reincarnation of a life that is free. I know we live to die, but I hide behind the tears I cry, to show no one my weakness.

by joey

Judgement day

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:37:16 -0000

Poem

The days are coming. Judgement day is right around the corner. Are we ready to speak all that needs to be spoken. The jokes on you! God knows all you have done, Ramble on and on and on. Dreams may come, " of a better land". I need to testify, My life aint peachy keen. My mouth will get me to gods dream of saying all the poverted things. I will ask god for his forgiveness. A life long entry to the promise land, of finally being free and not judged. God please put your hand upon my head and free me from these ghosts that has haunted me. Let me know how it feels to be normal with no worries. God spoke and he whispered in my ear and said your strong, with your mind ,body, and soul, your here to teach others. Stop! They will listen and they will have peace.

by joey

Shattered pieces

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:24:54 -0000

poem

Shattered pieces that fell to the floor. Pieces of me that can never be fixed. Holes of depression of a life so tattered and torn, of a young child scorn. I don't want no one too close, I'm too vulnerable to feel safe. A life that I wish I could erase, to start fresh with second chances, not to have to see the demons from my past. I would never want my child to see the demons that I had in my childhood past. Wishing to kill the inner child in me. Wishing never to feel that pain. Staying up all hours of the night not to sleep until I see light , so I don't have the fears of seeing you in my sight. Only for a short moment of feeling safe in my bed realizing that I'm not that child in my head.

by joey

eagle's wings

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:01:19 -0000

poem

I am mesmerized by what I'm watching. My heart speaks without even whispering a word. White and pink orchids ruffle through the breeze. My heart is in attunement with the attractiveness with nature. I see an eagle perched on a fence with the cool breeze blowing off the lake as the eagle preys onto its' next fresh fish. With the broad of its' wings stretch out. Goose pimples form on the tops of my skin as I watch the gracefulness of its' glide through the air, as I watch with awe. knowing this was only but a once in a life time opportunity of display, as I watch this eagle fly away.

by joey

after life

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:26:03 -0000

poem

I grabbed my heart because it's falling apart. You held me through the rain and got me through my pain. Held my hand when I needed you. I know your not there, no one understood but you. I see your love is still here because ,my love for you won't go away. People sometimes don't understand of how I can't stop thinking of a man that was my whole world circle and full. I see you in a field full of daisies and deep blue sky. Loving your life without me near. I'm wondering what your life is like there. It's something I can't understand but just wanting to hold your hand , to let go of my fear that your gone.

by joey

ME

Sat, 31 May 2008 20:55:24 -0000

poem

dispassionate people don't know me, they have never walked in my shoes, seen the shit I've seen through these eyes. I don't dissimulate myself. I'm real! Cut to the core! I dissever myself from the world because they don't understand my life. People say I'm disqualified for the work that I applied. I don't play woe as me, because there has been disruption in my life since the age of 5. MOLESTED,RAPED,ROBBED,DRUGS, ALCOHOL, all before the age of 15. High school drop out. you haven't seen what I seen.GOD GIVE ME SOME DIVINE INTERVENTION. GIVE ME A MYSTICAL SIGN THAT ONLY YOU CAN RELATE OF MY FATE IN THIS WORLD. What journey I have to seek in order to have peace and tranquility or maybe the qualifications just to be me.

by joey

disappointments

Sat, 31 May 2008 20:43:06 -0000

poem

A face that I cannot express of such deep disappointment of my own childhood past. A taste of toxin runs through my blood of touchy subjects that should be left unsaid. Seeing tears that rolls down my moms face of her dismay, not being able to control her emotions of tasteless disappointments of her own seeds, of trying to make sense of so many selfish acts. Taking advantage of her passive maternal hope. She becomes frustrated by not being able to express her true feeling without hurting other peoples pride, Not a whisper falls down upon the crowd for my mom don't have the strength to even mutter the disappointments.

by joey

Strength

Sat, 31 May 2008 20:31:56 -0000

poem

Everyone has a path, a journey, a purpose. A life of lost souls that live amoungst us. Driven to a higher person. My heart aches for peace. Healing earth would only be a miracle from god. My hands are tired, My legs are weak. God please give me the strength to keep searching for peace.

by joey

truth

Sat, 31 May 2008 20:26:16 -0000

Poem

Things always seem so complicated and out of control. It seems as if the world runs on batteries, when it should run from the beat of ones heart. evolution is here. Freedom rings to release ones soul to not be in capitivity, of the contradicting political toxic waste on humanity. Freedom is just an expression of our land. Lies and deceit from the untruths of our government and the unveiling of twisted misusage of power. Let freedom ring, sound the sirens. IT'S TIME FOR CHANGE!

by joey

our native land

Thu, 29 May 2008 21:18:22 -0000

poem by henrietta lanahan
1963
This is our own native land. Let us give each other a helping hand. For the right to vote is our legal right and not whether our skin is black or white. There may be some in this land of ours. Who would want to mar it or to give it any scars, but do they really love their country well. By some of the things they do , how are we to tell. If so, let them put these old fires out. and erase all questions of doubt. For the man with the black skin is here to stay. Let us all open our hearts to help him pray. For the things he wants most , is his equal rights.

runs in the family

Thu, 29 May 2008 21:04:55 -0000

Hi everyone my mom came to me today and she brought me a poem my grand mother henrietta lanahan wrote right after the kennedy assasination, and she wrote what was on her heart and mind at the time. My grandma was very talented in many things she won a blue ribbon prize for having the best cake at the state fair in 1952. orange cake with orange frosting. There has been lots of recipes that been handed down. She was also a key punch operator for claims dealing with road aid in st paul, and with her one suggestion at work the whole department saved time and money which the st paul company's really appreciated and gave her an award and a raise. My mom and I stubbled across this poem my grandma wrote, it showed in her words how devestated about the kennedy assasination. My grandma died in 1993 and we do miss her dearly, she lived with me all my life as I was growing up, now my mom is the only one left out of her family. I see how much it effects her everytime we talk.

Dad I know your there

Wed, 28 May 2008 15:45:47 -0000

Poem

I see the sway of the trees back and forth. The morning dew that trickles down from leaf to leaf, Dad I know you're there.

I see the ruffles of the grass and the high sunflowers shining before my eyes. Dad I know you're there.

I smell the lilac trees that reminds me of home. Dad I know you're there.

I see cats playing in the hallways and following me home. Dad I know you're there.

The shadows watching me from behind. Dad I know you're there.

by joey

For the love of my father

Tue, 27 May 2008 01:36:17 -0000

poem

My father was a Latino man. Someone us kids could never understand. We learned a lot from this man, he taught us to be strong and to have respect, to have self pride but to never forget the love he and my mom gave to get us to this point. The struggles that had bared down on us , the struggles to survive. Although I wish he was here to see what I have done. To put his arms around me and say good job done. My father you can see in my eyes each time I cry for the love of my father.

by Joey

back in the day

Wed, 21 May 2008 23:45:57 -0000

poem

everyone says if I could be young again...... They would not have any fun by changing the course of your past. God gives us the instructions to our lives. We pave the decisions we make, We learn from it and try to help others. Life is like learning how to grow old and making it to die in peace. Reincarnation is when you can change things.

by joey

tranquility

Tue, 20 May 2008 18:35:31 -0000

poem

A waterfall of crystal clear spirits fall down onto the creeks. Seeing a bright pink and blue sunset of tranquility. Sharing love with one another of bubbling, bursting with bliss. A perfect never-ending ocean of deep blue that runs into the horizon. Only good memories of happiness is of feeling safe in your mothers arms. Morning dew that runs down from leaf to leaf. Every morning waking up to the smell of bright purple lilacs. Hearing family laughter in the back of your head. Close your eyes and think, lock it up tight. Then pray, and have your angels guide you to your next destination of tranquility.

by joey

A CHILD SCORN

Tue, 20 May 2008 18:21:21 -0000

POEM

A child of innocence of being scorn. everyone wants to heal the abuse that has been burnt into my brain. A life long lost of not being understood.; of holding back tears, of facing all my fears alone, of telling anyone the fatal truth, of the death of my innocence. Still deep in my mind protecting my abuser so their lives are not ruined. When can the healing start for the victims, and of the unspeakable acts that had been put upon them. The abusers lives must flash before them. society needs to take away from them , what they have took away from us. THEN WILL WE BE SAFE?

BY JOEY